Mistakes turned choices.

 I've been stranded in Frankfurt for about 24 hours now, with all the strikes for ground-workers and Airport personnel.

And as I was laying down in my hotel's bed, I contemplated the journey I've been on looking backwards.

Like a fox looking back on a big empty field.

So far I've understood quite a bunch of things I didn't understand before. Mainly, the fact that some mistakes we see, are actually carefully taken decisions.

I myself decided it was time to focus on a different path, which I've been following for about half a year already. It has passed quite fast, and it has made me learn many more lessons than I could ever count.

Like the fact that that I sometimes I like being alone, or coming to the realisation that I simply do not want to pursue a relationship with anyone because I don't feel the drive, or feel like I might hurt them, doesn't necessarily mean that I have chosen a negative outcome.

Do not mistake my words, I'm not trying to justify the judgement I receive from other people with my statements, I simply wish to portray the reflection of my thoughts as stars on a lake in the clearest of nights.

I wish sometimes, nevertheless, that I would simply be like everybody else; in the sense of sitting down my head, having a healthy life-work relationship, putting myself first, and others second, or wanting to build whatever the standard of life currently is.

I feel, though, at the same time, that this is what was meant to be. Even without this path, I knew I required something else. A light to chase I simply do not get with this normal life. But knowing this, I also have understood the point of view of those who look at my with wary eyes. That don't understand why this was the choice, or maybe why I made this mistake.

Feeling alienated from the conceptualisation from a 3rd individual about me, doesn't necessarily mean a negative effect for that one being judged.

But it is also good, for someone like me, to understand these points of view, as it should reinforce the principle in which this change was based. Constant pursue of better, not getting stuck on youth, which lasts for 25 years, and focus on the remaining potential 75.

This comes at a price though. I have also understood that every choice has a price to pay for. And, yet again, sorry for repeating myself, I understand that a coin has two sides, and it doesn't reflect failure. 

Like coffee in water, instead of milk, it shows you clearly every alternative ending, and every note of the bitterness, whether be it as a positive, or negative value.

Traveling so much means constant change, and it feels exciting, yet you will always want to have something else that you don't have in order to feel completely fulfilled. And it applies to everything else this owl feels; home, loneliess, sentimental numbness, lack of sexual drive, and loss of empathy.

 It all has a good side of needs or wants; Excitement, people skills, constant change, efficiency, organization, money, power and influence. 

Yet, the coin might also land on the other one; A home to come back to, a person to come back to, to sleep, and grow with. A calm lifestyle, with more possibilites on a personal level, a stable emotional state, and so on.

Believe me, I'm perfectly fine flying his high to the sun, you know perfectly well I like show my wings to the warmth of the sun. But sometimes, even if it's sometimes, I still miss my deer. My forest. And my silence.

Nothing like the skies above. Nothing like my home below.

But who am I to not understand that, as above, so below?

the owl;